129 replies to this topic

[Anti-Logic]

We talk a lot about it, but the pre-conceived notions that come with it, due to our surroundings and culture vary. People from the sub-continent, arabs, Iranians, Asians, Americans, Eurpoeans etc. are all inquisitive about it. But how frequently is it practiced in your surrounding? Is it a norm or just a cliche or taboo? discreet or openly discussed ?

With those thoughts, i am starting this topic. If i speak of Pakistan, to the best of my knowledge, the permission is rarely exercised. None of the adults i personally know, have practiced, but are aware of the permissibility. Have heard that it happens upcountry, but not amongst the metropolitan youth / adult population.

What about your area / surroundings?

[La fata illa Ali]

TORONTO

University: Basically a pandemic from what I have heard (pandemic in a good sense ) amognst the men. Not every guy does it but apparently it is very present. I have never heard of a sister do muta in University.

Main adult population and topic discussion amongst the 'mosque' people: Basically mute, never discussed,

The only time it is used and that rarely is sometimes 'engaged' couples do a muta prior to their marriage and even then, usually if not 100% of the time its a muta with stipulated no sexual intercourse clause...


so basically amognst the khoja's here in Toronto, the elders wouldn't even think about it and honestly, I bet a good amount of them dont even know about it.

The youth kinda get hit with it when they go to University. But again, its not openly discussed, very very private and hush hush thing.


May the Allah (aj) help s revive the sunnah of the Prophet

[.IceMan.]

La fata illa Ali, on 16 August 2011 - 08:56 PM, said:

TORONTO

University: Basically a pandemic from what I have heard (pandemic in a good sense ) amognst the men. Not every guy does it but apparently it is very present. I have never heard of a sister do muta in University.

Main adult population and topic discussion amongst the 'mosque' people: Basically mute, never discussed,

The only time it is used and that rarely is sometimes 'engaged' couples do a muta prior to their marriage and even then, usually if not 100% of the time its a muta with stipulated no sexual intercourse clause...


so basically amognst the khoja's here in Toronto, the elders wouldn't even think about it and honestly, I bet a good amount of them dont even know about it.

The youth kinda get hit with it when they go to University. But again, its not openly discussed, very very private and hush hush thing.


May the Allah (aj) help s revive the sunnah of the Prophet

Don't think so, if you're going to follow his sunnah , start saying saying Subhana Rabbi Al A^la Wa Bi Hamdih three times in your prayers, and much more instead.

[La fata illa Ali]

.IceMan., on 16 August 2011 - 09:00 PM, said:

Don't think so, if you're going to follow his sunnah , start saying saying Subhana Rabbi Al A^la Wa Bi Hamdih three times in your prayers, and much more instead.

I do say that...

I also garagle three times, rinse my nose three times, wash my face and arms twice, do the dhikr of wudhu.

I also drink in three sips and say bismillah and Alhamdulilah at the beginning and end of each sip of water.

I do everything with the right first, then the left,

I do 7 takbeers

I wash my feet with cold water after a bath

I break my fast with dates and salt

I plan on buying a miswak soon inshallah

Today I learned about eating Barley bread

So bro, don't judge, Lets revive the whole sunnah and not pick and choose.

[MWO]

the question is.. what relevence does your question have?

are you saying if it is excersized in your surroundings its okay to do it but if not then don't do it?

If not, then what is the point of this question?

(sorry, i dont mean to be rude, im really just curious)

salam

[s.fatima]

I've noticed this has been a hot topic in recent times. Honestly, I feel that there are a lot of youngsters out there who are misusing this option. Under what circumstances can one perform mutah?

[La fata illa Ali]

s.fatima, on 16 August 2011 - 10:01 PM, said:

I've noticed this has been a hot topic in recent times. Honestly, I feel that there are a lot of youngsters out there who are misusing this option. Under what circumstances can one perform mutah?

Ya, thats ur problem right there. ur 'feelings' are useless here. If this 'option' saves u from haram then that doesnt constitute 'misuse'.

[s.fatima]

Clearly, you've failed to answer my question. Nice attempt though! =)

[La fata illa Ali]

[Edited]

Edited by inshaAllah, 02 October 2011 - 05:19 AM.
Rude comments. Member warned.

[MWO]

a bit harsh there.....

S.Fatima... what do you mean under what circumstance?

there are not many requirements that need to be fulfilled.. but sometimes you need to look at the short term, and long term consequences of it.

to say someone is misusing it, is not fair because only they know the intentions of doing it.. and i think in the end its all about intentions.

ultimately.. mutah is there more than anything, to help the slaves of God from avoiding sin.

[s.fatima]

Attempt #2

You keep on missing the question, 'Kumar'. I'm sure no one's interested in your life story.

MWO: People nowadays take Mutah very lightly. Some under this contract are probably not even aware of the laws concerning it.

[MWO]

s.fatima, on 16 August 2011 - 11:35 PM, said:

Attempt #2

You keep on missing the question, 'Kumar'. I'm sure no one's interested in your life story.

MWO: People nowadays take Mutah very lightly. Some under this contract are probably not even aware of the laws concerning it.

Salam Fatima.. yes this is true.. and agree 100%.. when they dont do it according to the jurisprudence, then it is definitely misuse.

I know some ppl that would have sexual relationships with a virgin girl under the flag of "mutah".. but dont inform the father of this contract - which automatically nullify the contract.

so in that sense, yes, i agree.. ppl do misuse it.

[dan_rafi]

Mutah is still consider a taboo, but haram dating is pretty common where i am at.

Mutah is never misused unless one is forced into it against his or her will. So long as both sides agree, and they know what they are getting into.. it is halal 100%.

[MWO]

salam dan.. there are many more conditions that need to be met before it can be considered "100% halal" as mentioned in my pervious post

[ShiaBen]

I had no idea it would be more common in some areas more so than others.

Would this be dependent on the ethnic variations of a particular mosque?

I use to think mutah would serve as a dependent factor that relies on human personality, not so much location.

Interesting thread.

[MWO]

i think its a mixture of the following

1. ethnicity of the muslims - how they have been brought up to treat this topic
2. the general australian openess to new ideas - how willing say, a christian girl, is willing to take part in something like this
3. the "preacher(s)" mentality in that location - how something like mutah is portrayed to the community (positive/negative)

salam

[s.fatima]

MWO: I think you've explained this quite well. All these factors play a role in one's decision making process. Whether we accept it or not, our environment has a influence on most of the choices we make. For example, a villager would probably not be comfortable with the idea. On the contrary, a man whose been brought up in a city might believe it's the most convenient alternative. So when it comes down to it, Mutah may be common in certain areas while untimely in others.

Monad: Thanks for posting the link. It's highly important for both parties to be fully aware of what they are getting into. Unfortunately, a lot of shias have yet to discover the simple laws of a Marriage let alone Mutah (which still is foreign to some).

[Waiting for HIM]

1. In my area men do it with Christian women to save themselves from masturbation, fornication, and other sexual perversions of western society.

2. Sisters meanwhile suffer in their bigotry, self righteousness, and lack of will to their submission to the commands of Allah and sit there and getting old in their lonely lives. No body knows what they do at home to fulfill their sexual or companionship needs.

3. Then there are some young couples who are doing it for six months or so to know each other before marrying permanently.

All in all, #1 and #3 are living in peace and bliss knowing they are living in accordance with the commands of Allah. #2 are sitting there criticizing biting their nails in despair and deprivation.

As far as side debate on conditions, there are not many conditions as long as you know what the conditions are for permanent nikah. There is no difference, zilch, nothing, zero, nada between the two except that one is with no time stipulation, other has time limit to it when the contract expires.

[Fatima Hussain]

I've never heard of anyone in my area contracting muta, but most people would not tell others if they were in muta marriage.

[ImAli]

ohhcuppycakee, on 17 August 2011 - 09:13 AM, said:

I've never heard of anyone in my area contracting muta, but most people would not tell others if they were in muta marriage.

Yeah I think that they are quiet about it. While it is allowed I think it is not something you go around bragging about since we all know what it is usually used for.

[Al-Asr]

Waiting for HIM, on 17 August 2011 - 04:11 AM, said:

As far as side debate on conditions, there are not many conditions as long as you know what the conditions are for permanent nikah. There is no difference, zilch, nothing, zero, nada between the two except that one is with no time stipulation, other has time limit to it when the contract expires.

If I recall correctly, this isn't exactly true.  For example, I believe people in a mutah marriage do not inherit from one another, even if one dies while still in the marriage.  I also believe that there is no divorce for mutah (but a near analogue is that you can "gift back time" or something like that).  Moreover, the length of the waiting period differs between permanent and temporary marriage.

Edited by Al-Asr, 17 August 2011 - 06:36 PM.

[Anti-Logic]

So its like the debate we have with non-muslims on Islam's permission for polygamy. Men with two or more wives are common in the rich arab world, but not as common comparitvely in other muslim countries.

Similarly, I have heard that Shias in Gilgit / Baltistan (Northern Pakistan) practice Mutah. And from your replies, it seems that Mutah is favourite topic of discussion amongst muslims, whereas it is very seldomly practiced.

[OneNoteSong]

I don't know that it's common, but there are certainly  people in our community who have been rumored to have done it.

[Anti-Logic]

@S.Fatima: Actions are judged by intentions the contract would say it all. However, those who deliberately misuse it also know that its no more halal.

I was also wondering to guage if the practice is confined to a community / area / location or tribe. Is it common in Iranians but not in arabs? is it common in shias living in the west, but not in the Indian sub-continent?