11 replies to this topic

[raza amir]

Dear sisters i want know about women opinion about marriage. I need your answers.
Which life is better, means life before marriage or after marriage? If before marriage is better, then please give some reasons.
I also heard that girls become fedup and bore so soon after marriage. Is it true?

[syeda_zaidi]

Life before and after marriage has it's advantages and disadvantages. I mean both states are a part of life. There's no better or worse. Both states have their own types of challenges that women face. Of course life before marriage is a little bit more free because majorly you have your own responsibility. Once you;re married though, the case changes. You have ur husband to think about and ur priorities change as well. However, it's the next natural phase of life. One would get bored living single for a long time too.

[raza amir]

syeda_zaidi, on 21 December 2009 - 07:23 PM, said:

Life before and after marriage has it's advantages and disadvantages. I mean both states are a part of life. There's no better or worse. Both states have their own types of challenges that women face. Of course life before marriage is a little bit more free because majorly you have your own responsibility. Once you;re married though, the case changes. You have ur husband to think about and ur priorities change as well. However, it's the next natural phase of life. One would get bored living single for a long time too.

Thank you so much sister, it means it is better to stay away from marriage life, to be single is good, and i you asked yesterday about names meaning, but i found meaning of kinza only, kinza means ZAHEEN (intelligent). Aansa meaning i couldnt find.
Thanks

[Calm]

raza amir, on 22 December 2009 - 02:51 AM, said:

Thank you so much sister, it means it is better to stay away from marriage life, to be single is good, and i you asked yesterday about names meaning, but i found meaning of kinza only, kinza means ZAHEEN (intelligent). Aansa meaning i couldnt find.
Thanks

Not always. In a good marital relationship, the happy or advantages outcome is worth all the responsibilities that come along with marriage. There is not one answer to your question because it depends on more than one factor. It depends on the person's priorities in life , on how much can they handle responsibilities in return of advantages , and on the relationship in that marriage. Some people cannot handle responsibilities and thus they might prefer not to commit to it or if they commit to it they feel overwhelmed . Other people cannot share their life with someone else, they find it difficult to share their personal life and to become a half with another person they rather stay a whole in one person and thus marriage might not be 100% suitable to them. A large group of people want companionship, want to share their life with a loving person, want and long for a successful marriage and thus they don't mind the responsibilities and some sacrifices.

If you ask me personally, I always say "A successful/happy marital life is much better than a successful/happy single life. A normal marital life is better than a normal single life. A bad/unhappy/dysfunctional marital life is worse than any sort of single life" .

[raza amir]

Calm, on 22 December 2009 - 04:38 PM, said:

Not always. In a good marital relationship, the happy or advantages outcome is worth all the responsibilities that come along with marriage. There is not one answer to your question because it depends on more than one factor. It depends on the person's priorities in life , on how much can they handle responsibilities in return of advantages , and on the relationship in that marriage. Some people cannot handle responsibilities and thus they might prefer not to commit to it or if they commit to it they feel overwhelmed . Other people cannot share their life with someone else, they find it difficult to share their personal life and to become a half with another person they rather stay a whole in one person and thus marriage might not be 100% suitable to them. A large group of people want companionship, want to share their life with a loving person, want and long for a successful marriage and thus they don't mind the responsibilities and some sacrifices.

If you ask me personally, I always say "A successful/happy marital life is much better than a successful/happy single life. A normal marital life is better than a normal single life. A bad/unhappy/dysfunctional marital life is worse than any sort of single life" .

Much better answer, thanks alot.

[syeda_zaidi]

raza amir, on 22 December 2009 - 02:51 AM, said:

Thank you so much sister, it means it is better to stay away from marriage life, to be single is good, and i you asked yesterday about names meaning, but i found meaning of kinza only, kinza means ZAHEEN (intelligent). Aansa meaning i couldnt find.
Thanks

When did I say that being single is better? I said both states have their pros and cons. As I said that being married means u're more responsible for other things including yourself. Sometimes u have ur in-laws living with you or other older relatives. So it's a bit tougher to handle. However, if ur partner is supportive, it gets much easier to handle.

[raza amir]

syeda_zaidi, on 22 December 2009 - 06:55 PM, said:

When did I say that being single is better? I said both states have their pros and cons. As I said that being married means u're more responsible for other things including yourself. Sometimes u have ur in-laws living with you or other older relatives. So it's a bit tougher to handle. However, if ur partner is supportive, it gets much easier to handle.

But sister problem is that i hate resposibilites, i think here it means tension. I like to spend tension free life. But life without wife is also boaring as i am feeling now  
lol.

[ananda.zahra]

raza amir, on 24 December 2009 - 03:01 AM, said:

But sister problem is that i hate resposibilites, i think here it means tension. I like to spend tension free life. But life without wife is also boaring as i am feeling now  
lol.

(scratch scratch) i dont understand you hate responsibilities? but i think being single is got responsibilities too.. yah well, in marriage theres a lot of responsibilities. But its not boring at all... its full of adventures, especially when you choose to life your life as a quran teacher/some sort of ideological thing... wont boring at all

easy life = boring, tough life = daring/entertaining? (hahahaha)

[syeda_zaidi]

raza amir, on 24 December 2009 - 03:01 AM, said:

But sister problem is that i hate resposibilites, i think here it means tension. I like to spend tension free life. But life without wife is also boaring as i am feeling now  
lol.

lol brother nothing  is for free in this world. Everything has its costs. As one grows up, there are certain obligations that he/she needs to fulfill. All men and women have definitive roles in this world. That's the way Allah swt has ordained ur life. If there are no responsibilities or obligations we won't have a purpose in life!

[Namedoesn'tfi]

I would say single life is only good to a certain point of time. If you marry someone,  there will be responsibilities and It will make you a better person. As you are saying that you hate responsibilities, I am sure everyone does at some point in life, but we got to cope up with those lazy habits and be more firm in our lives. Your relationship can be successful if you have patience, and love towards your wife. Also, don't forget to give her space she needs. It is very important.

Edited by Namedoesn'tfi, 30 December 2009 - 04:29 PM.

[Tears of Karbala]

salams

ive been married for like 6/7 months now and alhamdolilah personally i'd say getting married is way better than staying single! and theres loads of reasons as to why I say so...coz its nice to have a companion beside you that is going to be there for you for the rest of your life (inshallah)...but one main point is that half of ur faith is complete, theres no distractions when trying to stay on the right path...but this obviously depends on your partner aswell, as u need to look for someone with piety so that they can help you stay onto the right path and also help you prepare for the akhirah...sooo anyway... i'd go for marriage on this.

[Hanan]

I personally believe that being married is a much more enjoyable and fulfilling way of living your life, as opposed to being single.

I also agree with what other people have mentioned above, about how each individual would view both ways of life differently depending on their personality, circumstances and experiences.

In my case, marriage provided me with a new sense of freedom. I am now free to do whatever I like in the comfort and privacy of my own home, I am free to clean whenever I feel like it, cook whatever I feel like eating, see whoever I have the energy and desire to see, have relations with whomsoever I like and respect, attend or leave an event at my own level of comfort, and so on.

It has also provided me with independence, in the sense that I am now mature and responsible enough to make my own decisions about affairs concerning my personal life and the household.

I also love the fact that I am now responsible for looking after the people that I love within my new family, i.e. My husband. I enjoy caring for him on a physical level as well as emotional. I actually like the fact that on one hand, I've taken over his mother's previous role - Of cooking for him, cleaning for him, preparing his clothes, and so on. And on the other hand, I am the only one who shares the intimate details of life with him, and the one he turns to for companionship and support. I also enjoy the responsibility of representing him in public with the way that I dress and behave, and so on.

Marriage has made me feel more 'complete' - With a supportive and loving companion who is always there by my side. It is also an avenue in which I can fulfil my life-long dreams of having and raising a family. And as someone has previously mentioned, on a religious level, it is fulfilling a much recommended act of worship and securing yourself against many possible sins.

Edited by Hanan, 28 February 2010 - 06:37 AM.