80 replies to this topic

[Moslem]

Forgive me if i offend anyone , or am incorrect, but near me, a woman is a woman, and deserves a woman's respect no matter how many contracts she may have had. There is no specific Hadith or anything else which puts a stigma on such women, so why should we do so?

[Shia_Sufi]

Temporary marriage with a woman who has been married before is alright.  The key point is that not all men and women are satisfied with one spouse, this is the way that Allah has empowered women to be able to have more than one husband, however not at the same time.

[Ruq]

Are there any outward signs of muta-fication one could look for? a slack jaw or squiffy eye perhaps?

[Fatima Hussain]

Three times? Isn't that a little much...? I know I would not want to be with a guy who had been in mutah that many times...

[forte]

There are no limitations on mutah. Why be concerned with number?

[3rd June]

Moslem, on 30 September 2011 - 02:28 PM, said:

Forgive me if i offend anyone , or am incorrect, but near me, a woman is a woman, and deserves a woman's respect no matter how many contracts she may have had.

agree with U but My answer would b "NO"

[RHMN]

Someone who performs Mu'ta may not be indulging in any acts of rolly-polly - it could be for other reasons.

Loneliness is something we will experience in the grave and it ain't going to be nice- so let's not jump to conclusions as to why a sister may have had to do Mut'ah a number of times - she may have been in serious need of companionship.(again boys..not necessarily intimate.)

I can say as a revert (not a female) that I know some ex- sisters left the deen because, they could not find a husband and what was on offer from communities were not suitable.

How about that? Many reverts have to be "creative in their findings". Perhaps not the best method.

Edited by RHMN, 11 October 2011 - 10:34 AM.

[Waiting for HIM]

Good so so see so many "women" supporting muta-fied women here and in turn supporting muta.

[Hakimabidallah]

If the woman doesn't have any STDs. Then far as I'm concerned she right for the taking. We men can't be looking at women at shame while collecting how many different women like trophies. But now days women are the players lol so depends on the mind state of the man and woman. But whoever marrys her shouldn't care about mutah but care about her faith and piety. Allah knows best.

[alimohamad40]

ohhcuppycakee, on 03 October 2011 - 03:49 PM, said:

Three times? Isn't that a little much...? I know I would not want to be with a guy who had been in mutah that many times...

depends on your age but if the guy is lets say 30 years or 25 years then it means he has reached marriage age at least 10 - 15 years ago.

are you convinced that a man who reached marriage age and stayed like a priest for 15 years does not actually turn into one?
if you are convinced about that then congratulations for the surprises but if your lucky then he is impotent or a liar.

you can not judge people from the number of the relationships because you don't know the details and the reasons for the separations but you can judge based on whether the man has always used marriage or used haraam methods.

you need to fix your selection criteria otherwise you will suffer in your choices

salaam

[ImAli]

Sorry, but all of you men talk big that you don't care how many relationships a woman has been in as long as it was done in a halal way......but if you had a choice between a virgin and a woman who has done mutah you will pick the virgin. Of course you will all deny it now, but you all know it is true.

Hakimabidallah, on 22 October 2011 - 05:23 PM, said:

If the woman doesn't have any STDs. Then far as I'm concerned she right for the taking. We men can't be looking at women at shame while collecting how many different women like trophies. But now days women are the players lol so depends on the mind state of the man and woman. But whoever marrys her shouldn't care about mutah but care about her faith and piety. Allah knows best.

You are the only one I believe on this....the rest of them it is probably just talk.

[alimohamad40]

ImAli, on 29 November 2011 - 09:02 AM, said:

Sorry, but all of you men talk big that you don't care how many relationships a woman has been in as long as it was done in a halal way......but if you had a choice between a virgin and a woman who has done mutah you will pick the virgin. Of course you will all deny it now, but you all know it is true.

preferring a virgin is a materialistic preference not a religious preference...  its just like preferring beautiful or young or healthy.... these are materialistic preferences and the man is designed to prefer virgin so that she is all for him.

For me personally the best preference is a girl with a clean past and present.,,,  its okay even if she had 10 failed relationships as long as she is not the one caused the separation or just mutually agreed to sample around (wastefulness)

Good women also face hard time with relationships and in many of their attempts they can fail and enter into something then divorce etc.

but honestly a girl who always respected gods boundaries and never made relationships without marriage contract is the ideal and much better than the modern day virgins who have gone with 1000 men and have done everything except intercourse all in haraam
Virgin my shoes

specially that in English virginity means purity

[ImAli]

You forgot to add surgery. I think that is hilarious when they have surgery, these days you boys never know what you are getting so be careful :!!!:

[Ruq]

forte, on 03 October 2011 - 11:09 PM, said:

There are no limitations on mutah. Why be concerned with number?

To consider greed as a virtue or morally neutral rather than a sin or something to be discouraged is pretty unique.

[Çåá ÇáÈíÊ]

~Ruqaya, on 29 November 2011 - 12:00 PM, said:

To consider greed as a virtue or morally neutral rather than a sin or something to be discouraged is pretty unique.

So..

The More Mut3'ah You Do. The More Greedy You Are.

Hm. That's Some Logic You Have There, Oh Boy..

[Haydar Husayn]

ImAli, on 29 November 2011 - 09:02 AM, said:

Sorry, but all of you men talk big that you don't care how many relationships a woman has been in as long as it was done in a halal way......but if you had a choice between a virgin and a woman who has done mutah you will pick the virgin. Of course you will all deny it now, but you all know it is true.

All other things being equal, then yeah, but all other things rarely are equal. I don't think it would be very intelligent to chose a virgin over a non-virgin who was better in every other way.

[Ruq]

اهل البيت, on 29 November 2011 - 12:31 PM, said:

So..

The More Mut3'ah You Do. The More Greedy You Are.

Hm. That's Some Logic You Have There, Oh Boy..

To indulge is not greed? how is its premise illogical? greed is taking more than what is necessary, when it comes to sin or undesireable traits then that can become a dangerous thing to propagate. Restaint and moderation is promoted above everything. There is a difference between saying something can be resorted to and promoting it as desireable or optimal. Permanant marriage is optimal and muta is something resorted to.

[Haydar Husayn]

If you want to say muta is something to be resorted to, then you are welcome to that opinion. From the point of view of mainstream Shia Islam however, it is something desirable.

[Ruq]

Haydar Husayn, on 29 November 2011 - 01:22 PM, said:

If you want to say muta is something to be resorted to, then you are welcome to that opinion. From the point of view of mainstream Shia Islam however, it is something desirable.

If you consider that your experience, so be it, my experience is different however, in the sense of its desirability being mainstream. When all is said and done all things are between our conscience and God.

[satyaban]

Moslem, on 30 September 2011 - 02:28 PM, said:

Forgive me if i offend anyone , or am incorrect, but near me, a woman is a woman, and deserves a woman's respect no matter how many contracts she may have had. There is no specific Hadith or anything else which puts a stigma on such women, so why should we do so?

Thank you for your post. Nothing trumps honesty.

ohhcuppycakee, on 03 October 2011 - 03:49 PM, said:

Three times? Isn't that a little much...? I know I would not want to be with a guy who had been in mutah that many times...

I think you are painting with too broad a brush, I judge each woman as an individual and don't prejudge.

[satyaban]

~Ruqaya, on 29 November 2011 - 12:00 PM, said:

To consider greed as a virtue or morally neutral rather than a sin or something to be discouraged is pretty unique.

"There are no limitations on mutah. Why be concerned with number?"

Aren't you taking Forte's post somewhere that was not intended?

[ImAli]

Satyaban.....you have to understand that aside from a few of the boys on here...................most of them wouldn't ever consider a woman who is not a virgin to be a permanent wife......or even spit on her for that. Some of them are sincere and don't care, but a great number of them do care.....or say they don't care when they really do.

I know it has to do with culture and religion really has nothing to do with it......but that is just the way it is. I know girls and women who are scared to death that they won't bleed enough, or won't bleed at all when they get married...........AND THEY ARE VIRGINS....and I am sad to say that I was one of those women who had this fear when I married.

Yet the men in the community run around and do what they want before marriage with little consequence, of course they still have to answer for it during their judgment. Perhaps that is why you are sensing a sour attitude and a lack of belief in what the men are saying from some of the women on here.

[Haydar Husayn]

~Ruqaya, on 29 November 2011 - 01:35 PM, said:

If you consider that your experience, so be it, my experience is different however, in the sense of its desirability being mainstream. When all is said and done all things are between our conscience and God.

Because your experience is based on people who don't know what they are talking about and speakers who are too afraid to say certain things out in the open. Tell me, do you consider Sayyid Khamenei to be part of mainstream Shia Islam? If not, tell me who is among the marjas, and then insha'Allah we can try to find out their views on muta.

[Ruq]

Haydar Husayn, on 29 November 2011 - 03:21 PM, said:

Tell me, do you consider Sayyid Khamenei to be part of mainstream Shia Islam? If not, tell me who is among the marjas, and then insha'Allah we can try to find out their views on muta.

I have no idea what Khamenei's specific views on muta are and whether or not they include promoting promiscuity. If you want to recommend some work of his i'll take a look.

satyaban, on 29 November 2011 - 02:49 PM, said:

"There are no limitations on mutah. Why be concerned with number?"

Aren't you taking Forte's post somewhere that was not intended?

Could be, but 'amount' is relevant in regards to greed and self control, some kinds being more damaging than others.

[Haydar Husayn]

~Ruqaya, on 30 November 2011 - 02:27 PM, said:

I have no idea what Khamenei's specific views on muta are and whether or not they include promoting promiscuity. If you want to recommend some work of his i'll take a look.

What I'm trying to find out is who you consider to be a 'mainstream' authority on Shia Islam, so that I can try and prove they have essentially the same views on muta that I do. If they don't, then that will show you are right, and that I'm not part of the mainstream on this topic.