9 replies to this topic

[PREACHER]

Just an observation, there is soo much young love out there jumping into marriage thus the incidence of divorce is rising. What are your opinions?

Is marriage hard here?

Is that why more ppl get married from overseas?

How to make marriage or the process of getting married in australia easier?

[Amena]

Salam

the incidence of divorce is very low here (west oz at least) im not sure how things are in other parts. Some people dont find a suitable spouse here so they import, it really depends on what the person is looking for, others prefer to marry cousins etc.

[~RuQaYaH~]

Not sure bout WA but the incidence of divorce in Aus as a whole is very high (about 50% I think)....and unfortunately the Muslim community here is not immune to such rates. In terms of marriage in the Muslim community in Australia....I really don't think it's very hard, especially in Syd. Sydney has a huge, and not to mention very active Shia population compared to other places in the West, so there is much more choice. But I do think that the Shia community in Sydney should organise something to make it easier for the youth to get married.

wasalaam

[Shay]

PREACHER, on Jan 12 2008, 11:36 AM, said:

Just an observation, there is soo much young love out there jumping into marriage thus the incidence of divorce is rising. What are your opinions?

Is marriage hard here?

Is that why more ppl get married from overseas?

How to make marriage or the process of getting married in australia easier?

I definitely agree that a lot of youngens are jumping into shotgun marriages. I think they're attracted to both the romance and halalness of it. More often than not, it usually ends in an unhealthy relationship or divorce. I guess parents need to instill a matureness in their kids so that they're more prepared and ready for the commitment.

I'd say marriage here is easier if anything. The burden of surviving day to day, the financial stress, etc isn't as strong as other countries. We also have so many services available, and people are generally freer to do more things.

I dont really see more people getting spouses from overseas, its actually the opposite. People from here tend to find that they're not really compatible from people overseas, their mindframes are completely different. The majority of divorces i've seen are the result of marrying people from overseas.

Our community needs to cater to its people by making marriage easier. I know one sheikh who'd hold organised segregated iftars, where men and women were on different tables. He copped a lot of flack form community members saying people got married from these iftars as a result. I would've thought that'd be a good thing, but not everyone seems to think so. All I can suggest is maybe having a good social network -emphasis on good, since its pointless having dropkicks. Also, being more active in events and lessons, lectures, etc. At the end of the day, you'll probably end up meeting your spouse in the last place and time you expect!

[a.shia.muslim.brother.110]

Salam u alaykom all,

Sorry to be a bit off the topic. But, I'm actually looking for a true Shia revert wife. Please free to contact me for further details:

a.shia.muslim.brother.110@gmail.com

asslam u alaykom

[Ricky-Dee]

a.shia.muslim.brother.110, on 10 February 2012 - 10:53 PM, said:

Salam u alaykom all,

Sorry to be a bit off the topic. But, I'm actually looking for a true Shia revert wife. Please free to contact me for further details:

a.shia.muslim.brother.110@gmail.com

asslam u alaykom

any luck yet bro ?

a.shia.muslim.brother.110, on 10 February 2012 - 10:53 PM, said:

Salam u alaykom all,

Sorry to be a bit off the topic. But, I'm actually looking for a true Shia revert wife. Please free to contact me for further details:

a.shia.muslim.brother.110@gmail.com

asslam u alaykom

any luck yet bro ?

[Sayf Udeen]

I don't know that it's so much that people are jumping into shot gun marriages.
I think the love that should exist in a marriage has been a lost ideal.

People seem to expect to get married and for everything to be all rosy, happy ever after and rainbows and all that.
The reality is, marriage is a big test of patience and all about accepting change and someone else for who they are inside and out. Through and through.

I think the main problem is unrealistic expectations.

[Hasan0404]

PREACHER, on 11 January 2008 - 07:36 PM, said:

Just an observation, there is soo much young love out there jumping into marriage thus the incidence of divorce is rising. What are your opinions?

Is marriage hard here?

Is that why more ppl get married from overseas?

How to make marriage or the process of getting married in australia easier?

My brother, dont just mention australia, marriage is easy nowhere

[tahiraansari]

To me, this  is one of the biggest problems of our Ummah. We're so busy spending a lot of time discussing what went wrong with the other people who did not accept the Ahlu Bayt a.s. that we don't spend enough time on ourselves. As individuals, we need to resolve our own problems of our lives before we get married and purge them from our systems. The best way is (don't groan) is to see a good individual/family therapist who is trained in helping people to do this. Talk to them before you start with them and see what their approach is. If it is tooooo analyticall, find one with more common sense.
Then, when we have healthy individuals, they can find mentally and emotionally healthy mates. This takes being able to spend time with that person for in my opinion up to 3 months in a correct temporary marriage.. This can be done without any physical contact. Get to know each other. Everyone sounds great when they talk initially... and people maybe sincerely believe in what they say but when they get married, people tend to find out that their mate believed incertain things but the reality is that living with them is a completely different story.
The marriage is the architect of the family. So a mentally healthy, compatible couple can have emotionally healthy children. From this we can have functional communities.
By the way, it's good to consider delaying having children until we actually experience compatability and a happy marriage for a year.
Islam is so pure and clear yet if we pour it into glasses (people) that are dysfuncitonal, cracked and not so clean, they become very poor transporters of Islam. Their own wrecked personality, value system etc.  is a poor filter for the purity of Islam.
that's a lot but think about it. I think the most important part happy marriages that lead to good communities is knowing ones self and the person BEFORE they get married. And know them well over a period of time. Everyone, even Oprah talked about it ~ we fall in love with the idea of the fairytale marriage, the wedding and our ideals about love but then we really discouraged and divorce easily when things don't measure up to the fairytale we hav in our heads.
If anyone wants a huge maher... i suggest you think and then think again before marrying into a family who want this. If they are smart they will be looking for a good man more than an economic deal.!

[ashiamuslimbrother]

Saalm u alaykom,

as a divorced brother, my advise is that dont get deaf and blind and use your brain and put trust in Allah!

Assalm u alaykom