20 replies to this topic

[Dhulfiqar]

Boy, 13, hangs himself after bullies pelt him with food
21.11.06

Paul Moran

Paul Moran, 13, would sometimes arrive in tears, his hair and clothes covered with food and drink thrown by other pupils

A Schoolboy hanged himself using his favourite football team scarf after complaining that he was being persecuted on the bus ride home from lessons.

Paul Moran, 13, would sometimes arrive in tears, his hair and clothes covered with food and drink thrown by other pupils, his mother said yesterday.

On one occasion his beloved Liverpool FC bag was ripped and on another he was even thrown down stairs, Carole Moran added.

Finally, after speaking about suicide to friends, the "sensitive and caring" teenager's mother found him suspended from his metal bunk bed with his Liverpool scarf, facing a poster of his favourite team.

In a further tragedy, a girl from the same school, Jenny Sykes, also 13, hanged herself eight months later after apparently becoming depressed over his death.

Detectives investigating the schoolgirl's death took away her computer after fears that she visited suicide chatrooms before killing herself.

Yesterday an inquest into Paul's death in Blackpool, Lancashire, heard that his mother had complained three times to staff at Lytham St Annes High School that he was being bullied.

Mrs Moran, 45, told the hearing: "One day he came home covered in eggs and flour and crying his eyes out. He could not understand why he was being picked on and kept saying 'Why me, why me?'.

"They even tore his Liverpool football bag which upset him. The school bus stop was right outside our house but often he would get off a few stops earlier to avoid more trouble."

One day he was pushed out of his seat on the top deck and thrown down the stairs, and on another his boots were thrown off the bus, she said.

He started avoiding the upper deck after his earring was ripped out but could still hear bullies shouting abuse at him from upstairs, and on one occasion a girl spat at him and shoved a banana in his face.

She added that his older brother Steven, 23, had offered to speak to the bullies, but Paul feared that would only make things worse.

On November 27 last year, a Sunday, just hours after he had been looking at a Christmas catalogue with his mother, his six-year-old sister, Courtney, found him hanging in his room.

She fetched their mother who dialled 999 but paramedics were unable to save him.

Following his death, police took 23 statements from other children at the school and discovered he had spoken to friends about suicide.

But although they found some evidence of bullying, there was nothing that would justify criminal action.

At yesterday's hearing, school headteacher Phillip Wood said teachers had investigated allegations that Paul had been covered in food but found he was not the only one because there had been a "food fight" on the bus.

He added: "I do not think it was aimed at Paul uniquely. The problem is that what is high spirits to some children can appear to be bullying to others."

The school had a strict anti-bullying policy which had been updated since Paul's death, he added.

Coroner Anne Hind said Paul may have been worried because the prospect of going back to school the following morning was looming.

However she recorded an open verdict, saying: "It could have been an accident, it could have been a cry for help, or it could have been a successful suicide, but Paul left no note and we will never know."

Jenny Sykes, who is not thought to have been close friends with Paul but who was apparently deeply moved by his death, was found hanged at her home on July 12.

Police said they did not find any evidence she had visited suicide chatrooms. An inquest into her death is expected to be heard next year.

[Aal-e-Imran]

Wow, that's so sad. From other incidents that I've heard/read of, they mention how the schools don't do enough/much if bullies get reported. Also sometimes the person feels shy to tell parents or anyone that he's being bullied, which I think is a big mistake. They think that if you tell then you'll get made more fun of, but I think it's the case of that or you get bullied all your life and still get made fun of as being a loser. I think telling is a much better option.

[Maryaam]

That is heart breaking that the young boy felt alone and having no choices.

There are things to do. If the mom puts the complaint in writing, it cannot be ignored. I found this information on a site about different kinds of bullying - maybe someone on the forum, with this problem can use it:

On the school bus, try to sit near the driver, or if it's an ordinary bus, by other adults. If you have to walk part of the way, and you're afraid of being ambushed, then vary your route, try to leave home and school a bit later or a bit earlier, or see if you can walk with other people who live near you, even if they're older or younger.

Many streets, shops and businesses now have CCTV so if you’re attacked in the street the police may be able to get filmed evidence.

Schools often refuse to take action on bullying if it happens off the premises but they do have the power to punish bullies if the bullying happens on the way to and from school.

If you’re being bullied on the bus your parents should write to the school to make a complaint and they could also make a complaint to the council department that deals with school transport and ask if the bully can have his/her bus pass withdrawn for a week or so in the hope that the inconvenience to them and their parents will mean they behave better.

Your mum and dad could also make a complaint to the bus firm because if there is trouble on the bus which distracts the driver the firm might be pleased to have the chance to complain to the school about it.

If you feel unsafe while walking to school you could get a personal safety alarm. These only cost a few pounds and look like a key ring. The loud noise they make will attract the attention of passers-by and frighten the bully off.

http://www.bullying.co.uk/pupils.php Much more information here.

[Nevermind]

Bully victims should get gun licenses, purchase .38 calibers, and inflict serious injury on whatever part of the body the perpetrator uses to hurt the victim. That's what I should've done.

[hussainak]

sad

[seyedmusawi]

Salam allaikum,
I'll never forget the one time i took a bus ride with a friend. I was about to sit in the front but my friend motioned me to the back. I sat down and within minutes the kids in the back started pelting these few kids in the front with paper wads, gum, and other objects.

The bus driver didn't say a word, the kids being pelted didn't do anything; they just took it for 20 minutes.
Strange world.

[Nevermind]

Lol....You'll never forget that? That's happened to me like a hundred times.

[Batool]

It's very important to teach your children from a very young age to speak out against bullying , whether they experience it themselves or if they witness it with another child. My youngest son's anti bullying phrase taught to him by his school and several t.v programmes is 'If you see something, say something'. In order to be able to do this the child needs to have a good communicative relationship with parents, older siblings, teachers etc and also need to be made aware that bullies will threaten them against revealing what happens and they need the courage to still tell someone.

Unfortunatelty some schools have a very non productive policy against bullying such as mediation and even suspension of bullies. Mediation can only be effective if there is a consequence to recurrent bullying behaviour, just mediation alone will not achieve much. Consequences really have to be something that the bully finds unpleasant such as segregation from friends and having to work alone rather than suspending the child and effectively rewarding them by giving them time at home to watch tv.

ws

[BintAlHoda]

seyedmusawi, on Nov 22 2006, 03:40 AM, said:

The bus driver didn't say a word, the kids being pelted didn't do anything; they just took it for 20 minutes.

i think they've probably given up

[Renaissance_Man]

That's a sad story and unfortunately bullying is an all too common problem throughout schools everywhere. I can relate to some of this myself. IMO, the best way to help a child deal with this is to enroll him or her in PRACTICAL martial arts like jiu-jitsu and judo where they can learn to defend themselves, increase their self-esteem, and cope intelligently with bullying. Bullies usually are cowards who pick on weaker people that aren't likely to retaliate. Once you stand your ground and fight back most will usually stop.

[Ayia89]

This reminds me of an incident here in Dubai last month with a couple of elementary school kids...
In some of the schools here, there is a lot of rivalry between the foreigners and local arabs.
There was this particular incident between two elementary school boys - one a local Emirati arab, and the other a South African kid.
The south african kid used to get bullied a lot by the emirati. The two kid's family's were very, very, very good friends, so there wasnt much to be done about the rivalry between the two boys, because they did not want to break such good ties between the two families.
Finally one day, on the school bus, the South African kid couldnt take it anymore, and strangled the Emirati kid to death.
It was pretty sad to see something like this coming from elementary school kids.
Interesting enough...the two families (south african and emirati) did not take this to court, and they still remain good friends.

[SayedMurtaza]

Nevermind, on Nov 22 2006, 07:14 AM, said:

Bully victims should get gun licenses, purchase .38 calibers, and inflict serious injury on whatever part of the body the perpetrator uses to hurt the victim. That's what I should've done.

get .357 or .44 more helpful

[Madre de Zahra]

This is so sad. It reminds me of my middle school. The students were VERY harsh with each other. Constantly ganging up on each other and harrasing people. Sometimes it would be over a "look" or simple misunderstanding. The school wouldn't do anything about it. The ONLY way to survive was to be a bully back. It was was risky cause you could get jumped later on, but that's what you had to do. I was harrased the first month of school by one girl. I had to throw her down. Then another girl wanted to fight me over "looking at her". I remember a few other cases. In the end, I was in a HUGE fight with an older girl that was infront of the entire school in the cafeteria after school. It was sort of a mob. All the kids on the table screaming my name and then me beating her head into the ground. Rumour had it I stabbed her with a pen. Oh...back to the point. AFTER the fight, no one dared mess with me. I set my ground & everyone knew don't mess w/ Sandra.

This is what it takes... really. EVEN if you are hit by someone else, if you hit back you are punished. I have NEVER ever hit anyone first (actually there was one white girl but it was because she was making fun of my race so tha's a different story), but all be damned if I'm going to be slapt around. You let me talk mess to you, you let people slap you around...that's how it's going to be. Schools need some serious reform. They don't do anything. Anyone who went to my school and says violence is not the answer was gravely mistaken. When you're in schools like this, violence is the only answer or quitting the school.

Don't get me wrong now. I always said to people, "I don't want to fight you." Even the racist white girl that was disrespecting me (I was the only Latina in the school and there were only 3 blacks ...two of them were sisters), keep it up and I'm gonna deal with you. In fact one time, when I got off the school bus three girls wanted to fight me. I said something like, "If you wanna fight me, go ahead and hit me because I don't have time to waste." They wanted to exchange words first. lol Anyway, my big sistah spent alot of time teaching me how to fight for these very reasons.

It's very animalistic...Its like you're a lion fighting over your land...and I wish it wasn't that way but there was really no choice. Many times, I've had to step up to the plate and defend other kids as well. I don't know why kids like to make fun of the students with mental health issues. I could never understand how people could be so cruel.

[Queen_Shah_UK]

sometimes retaliating makes things worse

and its hard for kids whose parents and/or teachers wont pay much attention

[Queen_Shah_UK]

Madre de Zahra, on Nov 25 2006, 01:35 PM, said:

This is so sad. It reminds me of my middle school. The students were VERY harsh with each other. Constantly ganging up on each other and harrasing people. Sometimes it would be over a "look" or simple misunderstanding. The school wouldn't do anything about it. The ONLY way to survive was to be a bully back. It was was risky cause you could get jumped later on, but that's what you had to do. I was harrased the first month of school by one girl. I had to throw her down. Then another girl wanted to fight me over "looking at her". I remember a few other cases. In the end, I was in a HUGE fight with an older girl that was infront of the entire school in the cafeteria after school. It was sort of a mob. All the kids on the table screaming my name and then me beating her head into the ground. Rumour had it I stabbed her with a pen. Oh...back to the point. AFTER the fight, no one dared mess with me. I set my ground & everyone knew don't mess w/ Sandra.

This is what it takes... really. EVEN if you are hit by someone else, if you hit back you are punished. I have NEVER ever hit anyone first (actually there was one white girl but it was because she was making fun of my race so tha's a different story), but all be damned if I'm going to be slapt around. You let me talk mess to you, you let people slap you around...that's how it's going to be. Schools need some serious reform. They don't do anything. Anyone who went to my school and says violence is not the answer was gravely mistaken. When you're in schools like this, violence is the only answer or quitting the school.

Don't get me wrong now. I always said to people, "I don't want to fight you." Even the racist white girl that was disrespecting me (I was the only Latina in the school and there were only 3 blacks ...two of them were sisters), keep it up and I'm gonna deal with you. In fact one time, when I got off the school bus three girls wanted to fight me. I said something like, "If you wanna fight me, go ahead and hit me because I don't have time to waste." They wanted to exchange words first. lol Anyway, my big sistah spent alot of time teaching me how to fight for these very reasons.

It's very animalistic...Its like you're a lion fighting over your land...and I wish it wasn't that way but there was really no choice. Many times, I've had to step up to the plate and defend other kids as well. I don't know why kids like to make fun of the students with mental health issues. I could never understand how people could be so cruel.

jus read this now - i soooooo sympathise wid u
kindda went thru the same

[faithful_sister]

That is really sad to hear. This has become a big issue for a long time. I've heard this happen to many kids. I was also bullied alot when i was young .
I think schools should look more into this issue, the should have teachers or someone to supervise for these kids everywhere, even on school buses and during recess.

Wassalm

[DerFeldMarschall]

Madre de Zahra, on Nov 25 2006, 08:35 AM, said:

This is so sad. It reminds me of my middle school. The students were VERY harsh with each other. Constantly ganging up on each other and harrasing people. Sometimes it would be over a "look" or simple misunderstanding. The school wouldn't do anything about it. The ONLY way to survive was to be a bully back. It was was risky cause you could get jumped later on, but that's what you had to do. I was harrased the first month of school by one girl. I had to throw her down. Then another girl wanted to fight me over "looking at her". I remember a few other cases. In the end, I was in a HUGE fight with an older girl that was infront of the entire school in the cafeteria after school. It was sort of a mob. All the kids on the table screaming my name and then me beating her head into the ground. Rumour had it I stabbed her with a pen. Oh...back to the point. AFTER the fight, no one dared mess with me. I set my ground & everyone knew don't mess w/ Sandra.

This is what it takes... really. EVEN if you are hit by someone else, if you hit back you are punished. I have NEVER ever hit anyone first (actually there was one white girl but it was because she was making fun of my race so tha's a different story), but all be damned if I'm going to be slapt around. You let me talk mess to you, you let people slap you around...that's how it's going to be. Schools need some serious reform. They don't do anything. Anyone who went to my school and says violence is not the answer was gravely mistaken. When you're in schools like this, violence is the only answer or quitting the school.

Don't get me wrong now. I always said to people, "I don't want to fight you." Even the racist white girl that was disrespecting me (I was the only Latina in the school and there were only 3 blacks ...two of them were sisters), keep it up and I'm gonna deal with you. In fact one time, when I got off the school bus three girls wanted to fight me. I said something like, "If you wanna fight me, go ahead and hit me because I don't have time to waste." They wanted to exchange words first. lol Anyway, my big sistah spent alot of time teaching me how to fight for these very reasons.

It's very animalistic...Its like you're a lion fighting over your land...and I wish it wasn't that way but there was really no choice. Many times, I've had to step up to the plate and defend other kids as well. I don't know why kids like to make fun of the students with mental health issues. I could never understand how people could be so cruel.

I totally agree with you, its a dog eat dog world. Looking back I feel like I should have fought back more often, even though at that time I was smaller than most kids, I was by no means a very small kid. I think Jr. High can be even worse than high school sometimes because Jr. High kids are more immature and lack discretion, whereas in HS is more often 2 ape-brain testoserone pumped guys duking it out.

BTW, I always thought bullying was really just an issue for the guys, not so much for the girls, but I guess I was wrong.

[Maryaam]

I have never seen girls fight like that, but I have seen them bully. It is different. They ignore the girl or say horrible things to her and about her and keep doing it for a long time, like weeks. The girl is not invited to homes and not picked for groups in school. It doesnt sound mean but it can cause the girl to be depressed and stay home. I dont think I was bullied but I was not in the popular group either.

Edited by Maryaam, 02 December 2006 - 01:29 AM.

[DerFeldMarschall]

Maryaam, on Dec 2 2006, 01:27 AM, said:

I have never seen girls fight like that, but I have seen them bully. It is different. They ignore the girl or say horrible things to her and about her and keep doing it for a long time, like weeks. The girl is not invited to homes and not picked for groups in school. It doesnt sound mean but it can cause the girl to be depressed and stay home. I dont think I was bullied but I was not in the popular group either.

THAT is what you consider bullying?

[Maryaam]

DerFeldMarschall, on Dec 5 2006, 07:51 PM, said:

THAT is what you consider bullying?

Yes it is bullying. It is emotional bullying. Girls usually bully other girls by not giving them acknowledgement and treating them as if they are nothing in an extreme way for a long time. They gang up on one girl that is vulnerable or already hurting from her family or something. It is very powerful. Not only punches can hurt you. Emotional hurt lasts much longer than a bad bruise. Suicides have been because of this too.