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shadow_of_light

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In the court, I had no lawyer nor was there any witness who would testify to my innocence for angels never give any false testimony.

I said: "O God I will pay ransom, just forgive me!"

You agreed but the ransom was nothing other than proving my love and loyalty to you.

I had to remain loyal to you even in the most difficult situations. I had to love you not only in the moments of happiness and comfort but also when I was in trouble and when I was desperately upset. And this couldn't be realized in paradise.

You told me that for achieving something precious, I had to strive for it and try my best. For only in this way, would I know its real worth and try not to lose it.


You told me that if you had not accommodated me in paradise, I would have given some excuse for my disobedience and would have told that I would not commit sin if I were not in difficult conditions.

But now I didn't have any excuse.

The final decision of the court was this:

I had to be banished to a very distant place called "the earth".

I wept and begged forgiveness but you rejected me and cast me out of your heaven.

My wings were broken; one wing was broken by greed and the other by arrogance. You left me alone and terrified on the earth. Did you ask yourself how I could survive?! I was your favourite! How could you treat me like that?!

Everywhere I went, there was nothing but deep darkness. I was wandering around aimlessly and crazily until I saw the mirror of truth.

I loved mirrors! I supposed I would see an angel in it! But when I looked into the mirror, I saw Satan!

"No! No! I don't want to be Satan!" I broke the mirror and it smashed to one thousand pieces and then I saw one thousand Satans.

Oh, God! What did I do?! I broke the mirror of truth! I was guilty, certainly guilty, and had to be punished.

I put my head on the altar and waited for you; waited to feel the sharp blade of your knife on the back of my neck. But this was not the great sacrifice you wanted from me.

For many years, I wept and implored you to forgive me. Finally, I took a big decision:
I had to wake up from my slumber of egoism. I had to kill the devil within myself. That day was the Day of Stonning Satan. Death be upon Satan!

What a hard fight the battle against own's ownself was! In this fight, the winner was me; the loser was also me.

I killed myself and returned to you, exhausted from a hard battle, unable to say anything, even unable to cry. My wounds, themselves, were the sign of my loyalty to you.

O Lord! Will you accept this great sacrifice?!

It has been thousands of years that I have been away from you and my wounds will not heal until the day when I can meet you

And now, I see a light on the horizon, in the distance.

I am going there, towards the sun, towards the truth, where the Sacred Land is. I am going there barefoot*.

O Lord! Help me, lest I should deviate, lest I should go astray.

From the earth to the heavens, I proceed; I will start my journey towards infinity.

Footnotes:

* Indeed, I am your Lord, so remove your sandals. Indeed, you are in the sacred valley of Tuwa (surah Taha/ v. 12)



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    • Beating oneself in grieve is from shaitan?
    • Another interesting blog entry. I learn so much from you, Sister. Alhamdulillah for all your help. 
    • Peace be upon you O Uthman, the namesake of Uthman the son of Amirul Mumineen [Ali].
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As far as the similar aspect is concerned then just as Allah censured our common people for the blind following of their scholars He did the same in censuring their common people, but as for the divergent aspect then No [he did not censure it].   قال بيّن لي ذلك يا بن رسول اللَّه قال إنّ عوام اليهود كانوا قد عرفوا علمائهم بالكذب الصريح و بأكل الحرام و الرّشا و بتغيير الأحكام عن واجبها بالشفاعات و العنايات و المصانعات و عرفوهم بالتعصب الشديد الذي يفارقون به أديانهم و إنهم إذا تعصبوا أزالوا حقوق من تعصبوا عليه و اعطوا ما لا يستحقه من تعصبوا له من اموال غيرهم و ظلموهم من أجلهم و عرفوهم يقارفون المحرّمات و اضطروا بمعارف قلوبهم إلى أن من فعل ما يفعلونه فهو فاسق لا يجوز ان يصدق على اللَّه و لا على الوسائط بين الخلق و بين اللَّه فلذلك ذمّهم لما قلّدوا من قد عرفوا و من قد علموا أنّه لا يجوز قبول خبره و لا تصديقه في حكايته و لا العمل بما يؤديه إليهم The Narrator said: Explain it for me O the son of the messenger of Allah. 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    • The following link will take you to part 2 - http://www.shiachat.com/forum/blogs/entry/315-the-impact-of-cognitive-distortions/
    •   This is what I learned from you Hameedeh.
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